? comments. Im trying to train her out of the habit. I may need some babysitting New day, old me, just doing routine stuff. Them: We should have lunch soon. If youve never read, The Gift of Fear, the critical point is that niggling things like exactly this are the warnings that can save your life and that there is literally no better metric than that the situation is giving you that reaction, no matter how small or how you try to dismiss it. What are the usual scripts? Do you feel obligated to help hosting her party when she wants to invite her people over? in a family meeting you decide that father empties the dishwasher, daughter cooks on weekdays, mother cooks on weekends or whatever) which also lets her develope that skills. If you can walk away from them, they're successful. With friends and family you can be more honest if you like, but you dont have to. Whenever people accept this answer, I know I am dealing with human beings who understand their goodness as a constant learning process. 1. E- Excitement. So, now give me my money back. That way, he proudly announced, he never owed them a favor in return. And I try to be easier on myself for not having more exciting weekend plans. Funny Bumble Answers #3: Rebel Without A Cause This answer is funny because it paints a picture in the woman's mind of a rebel, even in his youth. I used to get caught by this question. I also (insert similar hobby or interest). Right now? It kind of sucks to be going about your business and then people remind you that you dont fit in. @Helen Huntingdon, that is good to know, re feelings and setting off yellow flags. There are variants but this one is always appropriate in all situations. I dont know whether youre being too thoughtful or not thoughtful enough here. Not blond but like superwhite. She gets what crowds people like and is on point with inviting me to the right events. For a cashier: Great, how are you? just because they are probably required to ask as part of their job. Cousin Charles is having a party, and I think it would be good if you showed up.. I grew up in the Guessiest Guess household ever my mother once quit a job because they said they liked her work so much that theyd like her to do more shifts, and she was angry at being put in the position of having to say no so I didnt come out of childhood equipped with much of a toolbox for saying no assertively. So the onus is on you, when talking to a new person, to communicate that youre just interested in exchanging chitchat about what everybody did/will do over the weekend. Helen Huntingdon mentioned interruptingI just want to say, thats a helluva an assumption. If the idea is to make refusal easier, I think scripts like Im going to this show tomorrow, if youd like to join me and Do you know of anyone who might be able to babysit on Saturday? would be more effective. Its real. We had to interrupt her to say, We = mom and me, and you got mad so fast, we never got to say would you like to come along? Thanks! Helen Huntingdon mentioned interruptingI just want to say, thats a helluva an assumption. That wasnt an assumption it came directly from what you posted about deciding to take her leisure time. For those who are ready to stand out from the crowd, we've gathered ten hilarious out of office messages that will inspire you to raise the bar the next time you sit down to write an autoresponder. We all walk the kids to school together and she started calling in at our house every. So I think it makes sense to feel that threatening eviction / charging rent could be harmful. I understand that theyre just trying to be friendly and make small talk but it still feels invasive. Sorry friends, but bears, Zombies, whateverwe're gonna have to leave you behind. I think theres a frustratingI dont know what to call it, but adding monetary transaction to a relationship doesnt always make it better. Okay, there is something a bit screwy with this guy. I chitchat with cashiers so its totally fine to say something like, Ah, gosh, so crazy today I got a flat tire and Im just grabbing something easy for dinner. In other words if you have the time and energy to construct a lowkey, mildly entertaining story then go for it, otherwise just stick with Great, how are you? and you can let the conversation drop from there.
Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People I usually respond Why do you need to know? unless its someone I really trust. And just because my plans dont include hanging out with anyone or leaving my home, it doesnt mean that I am free or willing to cancel them. LWs parent. Now most parents dont really mean anything bad by this (theyre just used to being able to control their childs time and havent stopped to consider thats a rude way to treat an adult), so responding every time they try this with, Why, whats up? wont be a problem, followed by, that wont work for me if the invitation isnt something the adult child wants to do.
' If you ' re studying, doing homework or anything else you deem daunting, this is a great text to send your crush. It can still get extremely wearing through, and I do wish people would think more about when this conversation is appropriate and when Im maybe not up for answering a litany of questions that literally every stranger asks me (ie when Im obviously exhausted and struggling with four bags of groceries that I have to cart away on foot). But I have wondered if I answer with imaginary bf and I have x-plans, if the questions would stop. You might not know exactly what you want to do in life, but you certainly know what you don't want to do. We received your email and will get back to you with a (human) response as soon as possible. My cousins with kids are trying to push their 8-12 year olds on me to tutor them and Im like 1. COME TO LOOSE PLAN HANGOUT THING THAT IM INVOLVED IN OR ELSE YOU MIGHT SHRIVEL AND DIE! and they had the best intentions. Published April 10, 2020 "How are you doing right now?" That's the question I've been defaulting to on the phone, over text, and over Zoom chats during this time of ballooning,. Me: Fine, thanks. LW, I forgot the part where you said some of this is coming from people youre chatting to on dating websites, and you feel like its an attempt to get you to plan the date. Oh, yes, white supremacy/racism in action. Not much fun, but also not optional right now. (Aunt doesnt need to know whether your laundry has reached the point of not going to have clean clothes to wear or not.). Your kids are loud. Doesnt work with friends / family obviously, but I have to consult my husband every single time when it comes to sales pitches / offers in retail / invitations from strangers etc. Thaaats what Im telling myself about my children anyway. Just ask! I dont know. Why does it need taking care of?? Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?". It takes a bit of confidence to state clearly and categorically what you want and then ask someone else to join in that thing, and not everyone has that degree of confidence. An alternative then is to actually mention the fact that you are sending them an email. Thursday is good for me. I do have a preference for having the What are you up to Friday? question asked first though because I appreciate that they want to respect my schedulewhenever I book hangs with my good friends, we let each other know what blocks of time are going to be rough to fit each other into and know not to ping them too much during those times. I think its interesting how LW is talking about what seems to me to be a specific social paradigm/situation that a lot of the commentators do not share? My family are a bunch of hyper-social weirdos for whom my introvert-ness is very confusing. I might be up for casual after work hangs but not going clubbing in that sketchy bar across town. It helps that shes not as tech savvy, so I can get away with the excuse of well my calendar is on my phone and I cant check it at the same time as talking on the phone, even though I can, she doesnt know that. Or at least, it will be seen as rude by many people that I know and had had this conversation with. So now as far as she knows, I am very very very busy. Why not be honest? Its technically true and covers pretty much any emotion you might be feeling. It gives you a window into each others lives and invites you to share something about yourself. However, there are a lot of male people who use this approach on female people because they are trying to be coercive. Its either a soft opening for an invite or a general small talk questionand in both cases, Oh, not sure yet, how about you? is going to be one thousand percent fine. It took some practice, but I always try to give an out for people, especially since I have a group of Japanese friends where theyre used to giving a soft no. Try delaying your answer and then see if taking the pressure off yourself to answer the question or commit to stuff helps you feel less annoyed by this question. This is a whole lot easier to get if you see someone do it, but here goes: First of all, your manner while doing this will be constant big beaming smiles of absolute certainty, with big cheery extrovert gestures and rather loud but happy and beamingly-positive voice mannerisms. And I have an aunt who, when I was younger, my preferring to do nothing plans often translated in her head to free babysitting for her boys.
25 of the Best Responses to "How Was You Weekend" - Tosaylib At least once I figured out that they genuinely *didnt* need to know anything about me if they were going to behave that way I could default to oh my god Im so busy! Ive realized that people sometimes ask this question to start a conversation about the weekend so they can tell you all about their exciting weekend plans. Can you repeat what you just said? The Gladys response is a strategy where all anyone will ever see is you beaming at Pushy Neighbor, talking in a hugely positive way at Pushy Neighbor, and so on, but youre still getting to tell Pushy Neighbor to back the fuck off. Shes asked like this a few times. Copyright 2011 thru 2023 Jennifer Peepas, all rights reserved. Sometimes this takes several rounds before everyone realizes theyve done their line but missed their cue. Yep, my wife and I too. Usually, the asker will tell me why they asked after I answer, no matter what the answer is (busy, not busy, dont know).
'Hope You're Well': Emailing Through a Time of Pandemic Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Ive got some stuff to do around the house, etc. I completely agree, it is always best to begin with the intention: I need a babysitter, I am planning a board game evening, I would love to spend time with you and catch up. And they come up organicallyI dont invent them just to make her jump through hoops. Which is why weve all learned to use our words, though it takes some learning and there are still occasional misunderstandings. Also it varies on friend one friend, if I ask him if hes free Friday, we both understand that means beer and movies until the early hours, by default. Life is filled with lots of required thing that some folks loathe and others either like or dont care either way. Are you up to anything good?, If the person comes back with an invitation and youre not enthusiastically sure you want to do whatever it is, delay! To those who suggested building better boundaries with my family: Good advice. Have a very happy weekend! No other adult would be here. Im a big fan of being super clear: That depends, are you asking me out? Im looking forward to some down time. When I asked him later, What the heck? Lead with the actual invitation. Just make sure to follow these three rules for sending Tinder messages: Keep it PG-13, even on Tinder. Yes, this. So, when they ask what youre doing this weekend and seem likely skip ahead to of course youre going to my potluck and bringing the thing I promised everyone youll bring without actually asking you and/or so you can babysit ALL WEEKEND LONG, be ok with letting them down. Because if she werent a family member, Id throw her out on her ear; she sure as hell wouldnt be in my home with all her stuff. what about this would a person take personally???? On the other end, I have a tactic for weekend planning. No one asks or cares, but its as vague as the original request and helps facilitate the DELAY! tactic the Captain talks about. Theres also You can change "because you have kids" to a variety of things, depending on whom you're talking to.
30 Best Bumble Prompt Answers for Guys (with Screenshots) - emlovz And when things are something that I consider a family obligation, I make it clear (I need you tocan you? I want to put a claim on your time for X, will that work? etc.) In conclusion the rules arent really all that different. (I am also not her only parent, so I dont get to act unilaterally. Feel free to say no if youre busy/dont want to, usually leads to assurances that she *totally* does want to hang out, Saturday is great, etc. But I have made a major effort to train myself to STATE WHAT I WANT first. I know this is a small complaint, in the grand scheme of things, and I usually handle it by changing the subject to something Im interested in if I *do* feel like conversing. When you are waiting for the Good morning text. Man, that sounds great, but I know Im forgetting something on my calendar. Grocery store cashiers, random people in the elevator, and taxi drivers dont want or need more of a response. If you dont want to go, just say so. Accompany your morning treating with a Halloween wish. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor.
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